Hiatus

I'm taking a hiatus from the blog. My desire is to be back around the middle of July. We've been super busy with life.

• Sold home
• Moved in with my parents ~ 3 hours away
• Left job that I truly loved
• Start new job tomorrow
• Filed for divorce
• Starting a new life as a family of 2

So, yes....

Super busy is the new normal. But I'll be back once we've moved into our new rental home. Which is next door to my parents' house (since they own it).

Book Review: Too Hurt to Stay

I had the opportunity to review "Too Hurt to Stay" by Casey Watson. Casey is a foster parent in the UK foster system who specializes in children with difficult emotional and/or behavioral problems.

In this book, Casey and her husband welcome in 8-year-old Spencer. Spencer is an emotionally disturbed young child with extreme behavioral problems. He steals, lies, runs away, and physically injures animals and other children. They start to wonder if they can really make a difference for this young child. However, Casey and her husband meet Spencer's parents and start to discover the truth behind Spencer's behaviors. And, it's definitely an unexpected twist.

"Too Hurt to Stay" is a realistic portrayal of foster care, whether it's in the UK or North America. Casey struggles with the system, social workers, neighbors, and her own emotions as she tries to help Spencer with his behavior. As a foster parent, I can relate to Casey's emotional response to many of Spencer's behaviors. Even though there are times that she is ready to give up, she never does. And this is what foster care is all about - never giving up on the child, even when it initially appears hopeless.

Special thanks to TLC Book Tours and Harper Collins for inviting me to read this book.
Disclosure:  The book "Too Hurt To Stay" was sent to me by the publisher. My thoughts and opinions are my own.

Intentional Eavesdropping

Yup, I am guilty of eavesdropping on my daughter's conversations. The other night, it was a conversation between her and our cat, Speedracer. I came in at the end of the conversation. It went something like this....

Cat is eating food. Trying to ignore Meili.
Meili: You are not listening to me. You are not being a good cat.
Cat continues to eat food.
Meili: You need to answer me.
Cat continues to eat food and ignore Meili.
Meili: Choice 1 (holds up 1 finger) - you can go to the garage. Choice 2 (holds up 2 fingers) - you can get a time-out and I'll hold you. What is your choice?
Cat stops eating and looks up at her.
Meili: You are not answering me. Make a choice.
Cat goes back to eating.
Meili: Good choice kitty. I will hold you.

She then proceeded to pick up Speedracer. I intervened so that Speed could finish eating his dinner.

I think Dr. Purvis would be quite proud that the next generation is already trying to follow her advice!

Adoption Conversation

Adoption is a journey.

Those words have been spoken to me on more than one occasion. Currently, I'm laying the foundation for Meili's future understanding of birthparents. In our house, we call her birthparents "China Momma" and "China Dada". She has no understanding of these words but we use them to reference the ones who gave her life.

Onto today's conversation....

Lately, Meili has been into switching roles with me - i.e., she is Momma and I'm Meili. I took the opportunity to have one of many adoption conversations with her. They always seem to take place in the car.

Meili: I Momma. You Meili.
Me: Ok.
Meili: Honey, are you my China baby? (She always refers to me as "honey" when she assumes the Momma role. I guess I use it quite frequently.)
Me: Yes.
Meili: Say waaa-waaa.
Me: Waaa-aaaa. I want my China Momma and China Dada.
Meili: It's ok China baby. Don't cry. Your real Momma is here. (Yes, we use the term "real". Between foster parents, birth parents, China parents, etc it gets quite confusing even for me.)
Me: Waaa-aaa.
Meili: It's ok. I'm here. Your China Momma and China Dada are working.
Me: Waaa-aaa. Where are my China Momma and China Dada? Are they in China?
Meili: Yeah, they're in China. They're busy working and picking their noses. You'll see them later.

At this point, I started laughing and our conversation was over. I guess my point is that I try to weave adoption and Meili's story into our everyday conversation. I don't want her beginnings to be a surprise. It should naturally be a part of her life story. And I'm doing my best to make this happen.

Walk for the Waiting

Our American orphans are in distress.



An average of 12 children enter Arkansas' foster care system every day, joining the other 4,000 children already waiting in the system.

Today, nearly 500 children in Arkansas are waiting for a family to adopt them.

What if there was one simple thing each person in your church could do to care for these waiting children? What if it was as simple as walking?

On May 18, 2013, three leading orphan care ministries, The CALL, Project Zero, and Immerse Arkansas are uniting forces to invite nearly 70+ area churches to Walk for the Waiting. Will you consider walking with us?

We are working toward a solution where the Church leads the way to caring for these orphans that live hidden in our midst and we are inviting your church to join us in this endeavor!

For more information, check out the Walk for the Waiting website.

Puppets!

It's no secret that I take Meili to the library every Saturday morning for their children's program. This week, the theme was puppets. There was a puppet show and a rivoting story about puppets. The kids even got to make puppets at the end of the program.

 She picked out the hair, eyes, and nose. I helped her glue it together.

Meili and I both agree that it's a one-of-a-kind masterpiece!

Linking up with Sunday Snapshot

Monsters @ the park

Meili has been into monsters lately. Not sure where she picked this one up. Probably from a kid at preschool. Today a pink monster accompanied us to our POA park.

Meili spent quite some time pushing it in the swing.

Back and forth.

In 2 different swings. Because that's what this pink monster wants.

Linking up with Sunday Snapshot

Lifesong [The Forgotten Initiative]

The Forgotten Initiative (TFI), foster care ministry of Lifesong for Orphans, is bringing joy and purpose to the foster care community by LEARNING the needs, SHARING the needs and EQUIPPING the local church to meet those needs. 

Check out what TFI is doing to serve the foster care community...

 

PROJECT SUNSHINE: FOSTER HOME EDITION

Project Sunshine: Foster Home Edition is a fundraiser & service project all in one!
After foster children are removed from their homes, they often wait for hours in agency rooms. These same rooms are also used for weekly visitation between the birth parents and their children while they are in care. Project Sunshine was birthed out of a desire to create friendly spaces for kids during this dark time in their lives.

Project Sunshine: Foster Home Edition simply takes the Project Sunshine concept and applies it to a foster parent's home and at the same time raises funds for The Forgotten Initiative! Check out this video to meet the families we are serving this year in Peoria, IL on May 17-18 and click here to see how YOU can play a part in serving the foster care community!

How can YOU help Project Sunshine: Foster Home Edition?

Volunteer
Participate "in-spirit"
Learn more about Project Sunshine: Foster Home Edition>>

 

WHAT WE DO...

Watch our new vision video to get a better idea of how The Forgotten Initiative, as a whole, seeks to minister to the local foster care community by bridging the gap through Forgotten Advocates.

Learn more about Forgotten Advocates & how you can help >>

 

UPCOMING FOSTER CARE MENTORSHIP TRAININGS

Mentors Needed: Step into the lives of children of vulnerable adults affected by foster care through relationship building, tutoring, job/life skills training, etc.

Register for the next Mentor Training>>

Tuesday, April 23, 2013
6 - 9 PM
Richwoods Christian Church, Peoria, IL

 

Read more from The Forgotten Initiative... 

Project Sunshine: Foster Care Edition 2012 - "My home looks so beautiful. The impact of being gone and coming home to see this is almost unbelievable. I just don't know how to say thank you enough." Watch the Video

American Orphans - "Only a life contemplating the love of Christ becomes a life acting the love of Christ. And love always moves. Loving first and foremost Christ. And loving others." Read Full Story

Perspective from Foster Care Caseworker - A caseworker's job is heart-breaking, challenging, and can be extremely overwhelming.  Read as Jenna shares her heart with us! Read Full Story

Impact of Journey Bags - "Last night at midnight three precious little beauties showed up on my doorstep. They each had with them a blanket, a stuffed animal, and a book bag, their Journey Bags of course..." Read Full Story

Crystal Bridges Museum

NWA has an amazing new museum - Crystal Bridges. It's a big deal for my little state. Over Spring Break, Meili and I made the 3 hour trek up to NWA to visit the museum. My Mom joined us for the day visit. The museum is filled with only American artists. In fact, the day that we visited a Norman Rockwell exhibit was going on. And thanks to a generous donation by Wal-mart and the Walton family, the entrance fee to the museum is free!

And yes... that is a painting of Dolly Parton (by Andy Warhol) in the upper left corner.

My Mom also took us to the Museum Hotel. This hotel is filled with contemporary art. Just to be clear - I don't understand contemporary art. How can a basketball hoop be art? It's a functional piece of equipment. But that is just my viewpoint. Others may see something completely different. Or the little pig like thing. From the front, it's kind of cute. But on it's back.... it is birthing (?) like 8 other little pigs. Weird. But that is only my opinion.

Regardless, we had an enjoyable day visiting NWA's premier museum of American art.

Linking up with: Life Rearranged, Friday Photo Journal, & Favorite Photo Friday

First foster baby [continued]

I mentioned in the last post about Meili's initial reaction to baby K. I *knew* that she would probably regress. I just didn't know *how* she would regress. Initially, it was the crying and temper tantrum. Once she realized that baby K was not going to steal her toys or compete with her in other toddler ways, she started to warm up. She held baby K, kept baby K safe from the monsters, and played with her. At one point, she started referring to herself as "foster momma" and baby K was "Meili". This went on until baby K left our house.

As for regression, she wanted to act like baby K. She sat in baby K's bumbo, rolled her fingers into fists, and made babbling baby noises. She still does this. Like yesterday, we were in the car on our way home from school/work. She proceeds to tell me that she's baby K. She makes little fists and starts babbling. When she does this, she asks me to hold her like a baby and give her a bottle. When I can, I do these baby things for her. Part of it is just a normal toddler experience. But part of it is because she didn't get the normal 'baby' experience with a mommy. Instead she was 1 of 10 babies in a well-run orphanage in China. They took excellent care of her but it still wasn't what the majority of babies around the world receive - 1:1 care from a loving mommy.

So my first foster baby experience was good... just not in the manner that I expected. It was more for my daughter than me or the foster baby.